I’ve got cavities…

….because life’s so sweet. Lol. So obviously I’m having a good day…. let’s make that a good month. I haven’t had to battle any self imposed negativity, I haven’t had any sleepless nights, and I haven’t sunk into any periods of depression. Now a lot of that could be due to the fact that I’ve been working one full time job and two part-time holiday jobs (once recently ending at the same time as one beginning). So maybe it’s just that I’ve had no time to dwell on anything that might put me in a somber mood. But then again, I know that’s not true. I altogether had a mini break down a couple weeks ago, because I didn’t know how I was going to continue with this self-imposed independence and I was between checks at one job and the other one hadn’t paid me properly. Boy was I heated, and not because I needed to go shopping for some new shoes or needed to fly across country for a girls’ weekend, but because I just settled into my current place of residence and I needed some breathing room. Breathing room which was supposed to be afforded by having two jobs! So I broke down, but guess what, I didn’t have time to stay down. I didn’t have time to worry about what tomorrow was going to bring, even though I was upset, I had to force myself to understand that tomorrow was going to happen whether I wanted it to or not. Because there was work to do in my life that next day, and the day after. It didn’t hurt that I have a great support system that’s only a dial away. Sometimes when I feel really alone, and I get caught up in a notion of self importance (that what happens to me only happens to me) my loved ones help me to snap back to reality. An important observation was relayed to me: I’ve always gotten through it, whatever it was and instead of struggling against the flow of progress (which is exactly what creates the discomfort) I must allow the future to happen and ride it out with faith.

So I’ve had the ability to dwell (but not for too long) and I’ve stayed busy, moving forward, progressing. And I’ve also had the time to reflect, to take in the deep breath I was afraid I couldn’t muster, and allow myself to realize just how sweet my life is. I’m now meditating on the place that I’ve arrived, the place between holding on and letting go, the place between forcing and giving – the place of faith, where my soul resides, where all things are placed exactly where they are to be in the appropriate time.

It’s not easy, but I’ve found that what is actually the hardest part is giving mySelf the room to breath, the hardest part is letting go of the reigns and being divinely guided to inspired action. It’s hard to allow because I’m so used to steam rolling into every situation! Lol. But reflecting back on all that I’ve done and been I get emotionally overwhelmed when I understand where I am now. I have arrived (not the first time and surely the last) and God does it feel great.

I just wanted to let you all know that I was better than okay, but how are you all doing, how’s everything in your world? You know I’m just a phone call, message or prayer away if you need me.....