Compelled v. Looking

I am thoroughly amused by the statement: "I'm not ready for a relationship right now." You may say that, but most of the time you really mean, "I'm not interested in a relationship with you, but when the right person comes around then I'll jump." I get it. You're just not into him/her. If that's the case, you might just want to say it then. Or something to the effect of it. Honesty and potential lose is better than inevitable frustration and heartbreak.

Okay, but to the point, most men, I believe, take the compelled route. They aren't making any moves until they see what they want and they generally know what box to put you in within the first 20 minutes of talking to you. Like, "hey she's wifey material," or "she's probably convieniant for a good time." Not that they know for good but they have a general idea quickly whether you have the potential to be nothing, something convenient, or a whole lot more. I'm not saying all men do this, because I do know some that are actively seeking partnership. However there is a vast majority that do. And women seem to do, in general, the opposite. Our approaches seem to be the exact opposite: you can only go down from here, start out as relationship potential (Women) vs. you can only go up from here, start out as nothing to me (Men). A lot of us women (not all) tend to make ourselves always available and open to a relationship. It's like we're always trying to fit the square block into the triangle hole. Some men seem to know exactly what goes in the square space, the're just playing around until they come across the square piece that they KNOW belongs there! While us women are always on the lookout, seeking, opening ourselves up to pieces we know don't belong where we try to put them. And we keep doing it over and over again. Some of us continue to do it until we get it "right." Others just decide to wedge the triangle piece in the circular hole. While still others just get frustrated and decide to stop playing all together and leave unsatisfied.

I think the problem with most of us is that we aren't paying enough attention (or won't pay enough attention) to what we are trying to fill with what pieces. It you have a square hole don't try to fill it with a circular piece, just don't do it! If you know what you want keep going along on your merry way living your life ( playing)until it shows up. Until you SEE it! You don't go looking for it because you'll just end up trying to force it. Know what you want so when it does show up you'll know exactly what to do with it and where it goes. We need to start getting on the same page about what's most important to us, i.e. our relationships. Men aren't for Mars and women aren't from Venus, we're both from Earth and we need to be better to and for each other so we can actually enjoy the experiences of the love in our lives.

Disclaimer: The above statements do not apply to all men and all women. These are just my observations about the majority that I've interacted with.