Two wrongs = even, or does it?

I once heard someone say in response to "two wrongs don't make a right":

Two wrongs may not make a right, but it sure does make it even!

Even? Hmmmm.... Vindication, making things even, giving someone there just do.... Does it really make it even?

I've never been that "good" at retaliating. Not because I'm not creative enough, and not because I can't get back at someone with the effort that I feel I was wronged with. But because I know that no matter what I do outwardly, the feeling of being wronged stems from an internal issue. I've just been reminded of what that internal issue is and that's why I'm bothered. Trust me, I'm creative, I have great ideas and sometimes (read: a lot of times) I feel better when I think of the things I could do in return. I giggle to myself, sometimes I all out crack up, especially at myself for some of the ridiculous schemes I think up. But that's as far as it goes, only thoughts. Why only thoughts and not actions? Shouldn't I have every right to take into my own hands actions which balance the equation? If my goal in relating to other people is manipulation and maintaining my power over another person, then yes. If I feel like my way is the only right and proper way, then yes. If I feel that my ideas and understandings are the only absolute truth, then yes. But I understand, as equal participants in life, that we are all here to interact with each other for the purpose of growth. It goes against the person I am growing to be if I stoop to the level of retaliation.

When I get upset when I feel wronged, 9 times out of 10, it's because of the idea of a person being mean to another just because they can. If I responded in like I would be doing the exact same thing, for the exact same reason, regardless of how justified I feel. Just because I can. I used to be bothered by the fact that I didn't seek retribution, but I now know that it's not about doing something back to prove myself. I can only be me and having nothing to prove makes me feel good.

So why do people retaliate? I think most people do it to balance the power. When people feel powerless, they tend to do things outwardly (instead of internally) to demonstrate to themselves and others that they are powerful. They have something to prove: they don't want others to feel they can hold power over them. So retaliation seems like a good option, heck they have reason to do it (at least they believe they do). Since someone took the time to remind them of how powerless they feel on the inside, who better to "prove" their power to?

So in fact, two wrongs don't make things even. No matter how good you may feel in the moment, as a result of vindication, the feeling of powerless will not go away because of the outward action. And there will be constant reminders, especially when you feel you've been wronged. Yes, you are responsible for making things even, but not out of a resulting outward action, but from inner work on you. If you seek to get rid of the powerlessness that causes you to seek vindication start on the inside. The outward display won't then be necessary and then things will truly be even.