Monday, March 19, 2007

Divine Connections - Part I (Romantic Relationships)

I am convinced that I always have and always will be relationship ready. I'm just one of those types of people that have seemed to always have a relationship and/or want one. Now being a woman in the 21st century, a time when equal access and independence should be at the top of my list, I have often been criticized for being "insecure" and "afraid to be alone." At first when the responses came about I questioned myself (yes, I did) but I soon came to realize that my security (or lack thereof) was independent of my fondness of relationship. I am a chronic giver and I like making people I love happy and I love the dynamic a relationship creates that allows me to do what I do and like to do best.

However, I think overtime I've sold myself short with my romantic relationships. So what is the difference between what I've experienced in the past and what I've ultimately desired and fell short of? A Divine Connection (AKA, a true level of compatibility, based on the desire for mutual support, trust, and love). I was flipping TV channels the other night and came across a Joel Osteen presentation. I paused when I noticed the title - Divine Connections. I was intrigued by the title and the relevance to my current situation (newly single). Joel basically broke it down into two points that resonated with me: 1) when a door closes and/or will not open it is God protecting you, 2) God already has the right people lined up to help you match up with your desires if you would allow it.

Spiritual overtones aside, why do we fear what we'll be left with once a door closes? Is there some understanding of lack that we've come to accept? And if the person was really "right"/"good" for you why are they not in their previous position anymore? Generally people leave because they need to, they need to free up a space in your life so that there is a place for growth and/or room to attract another/others who will aid you growth. Love is not disappointment, doubt, anger, pain, or fear, so when someone/something shows up in your life displaying one or more of these attributes in the name of love it's time to start looking for the doorknob! Sometimes it's not so loud, or as Joel calls it, "it is a still, small voice." Either way you are being directed away from a relationship that contradicts the Divine Connections that are in store for you. Let that door stay shut! Forcing it open/propping it open is only going to give you more of what you don't want - heartache.

Why does it always seem when you're not looking for relationships you seem to stumble upon one? Coincidence? I think not. There is no such thing, it's more like synchronicity. You were so busy not worrying about a relationship that you did not impeded what was directly lined up for you. A faithful person knows that the people who are to help you desires come into fruition are already lined up. If we loosen our hold of the reigns we can allow what is being given to us, otherwise we'll continue to block it. It's difficult to engage in the relationships we desire when we are currently involved (physically and/or emotionally) in relationships that do not aid our growth. So what's the answer? It's time to clean house. Free up some space for your growth and for the people who will aid it, romantic and otherwise.

Question: In what ways do you actively promote Divine Connections in your life?

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